The Mike Stories, Pt. 12

Mike has progressively gotten worse about his cell phone. There was a time not too long ago, when he had a normal phone that he actually had with him on a regular basis. I even remember him sending me sweet cell phone photos when he would go hiking after work, like pictures of daisies because he knows I like them, and pictures of the sunsets.

Then Mike discovered Verizon Dave. Verizon has an app you can use for GPS driving directions. Considering Mike's total lack of a sense of direction, Verizon Navigator was the best thing ever for Mike. (You can choose the voice, and the different voices have names. He went with one called Dave, and we called him Verizon Dave. we even considered addressing a Christmas card to Verizon Dave)

But then Spanish Mike got ahold of Verizon Dave and changed the voice to a Spanish speaking girl voice. That definitely messed with Mike's sense of direction, but on the other hand probably helped with the Spanish learning. (it was also kind of funny).

I suspect it's also Spanish Mike's fault that Mike got rid of the Verizon phone altogether and got one of the cheap pre-paid phones through another company. Then Spanish Mike discovered some service through Google, and swapped out his phone number for that, which is supposed to forward all calls to a phone of your choice. the theory is that it can send your calls to your desk phone during the day at work, and to your cell or home phone in the evening and weekends... or at least i think that's supposed to be the idea. Spanish Mike isn't too big on explanations.

The problem with all of this is that although Mike does have a crappy cell phone without directions.... he never takes it with him. it's always left at home, hiding in the bathroom or under the bed. Every time I have tried to call him in the past 2+ months, it's gone to voicemail. it's totally annoying.

I tried to call Mike tonight to ask him to pick up some stuff to throw on the BBQ for dinner on his way home, so neither of us would have to leave the house again. Naturally I heard his phone ringing about 15 ft away from me when I tried to call him. (big surprise).

Maybe an hour after that, Mike walked in with a bag full of groceries - including a bunch of stuff to BBQ for dinner tonight! Maybe Spanish Mike doesn't need a phone because he can read my mind!

The Mike Stories, Pt. 11

Me: What are you doing?
Mike: Reading the internets
Me: oh... what is it?
Mike: Do you want me to send it to you?
Me: no... just tell me. I don't want you to send it.
Mike: I'm going to send it!
Me: I'm not opening it! I'll just send it back!
Mike: There! Sent!
Me: Well I'm sending it back!
Mike: I cleared my chat history! so there!
Me: oh yeah? Well I'm sending it back! There! Take that!
Mike: oooh, what's that? (clicks on the link, so he has the same site open in 2 windows)
Me: DORK!

The Mike Stories, Pt. 10

The Deck Mess
Mike has been tearing out the deck in the back, which is an especially good thing since he discovered that the wood was very weak and that we could have fallen through the deck at any given time... The problem here is that this is taking much longer than he had lead me to believe, meanwhile leaving a mess that looks like someone put dynamite under the deck and blew it up... there are boards (with nails sticking out, mind you) everywhere... tools everywhere (Mike leaves tools laying around all of the time. I was taught that tools get put away when you're done with them, so you can find them next time... and so they don't rust when you leave them out in the rain. Mike's mess of tools drives me nuts, but I digress)

Tonight
Me: Mike, You should go to the store and get snacks!
Mike: No, you should go!
Me: But Mike, look what your deck mess did to me! (pointing at a big scratch on my leg)
Mike: What were you doing out there, running around?
Me: No, I was letting the dog out, but you have mess everywhere and there's no clear path, so it's like landmines out there!
[note: there is a big temporary fenced off area especially for Morpheus to run and play where there is NO deck mess... at least the dog is safe, right!] :)
Mike: Well look at this... and this... (pointing to various scratches)
Me: Is that from your deck mess too?
Mike: Yes... and this, and this... and this bruise...
Me: Well you know what that proves?
Mike: What?
Me: That you should clean up your mess back there!!
Mike: I was working on it yesterday!
Me: I don't believe you, because it's worse today than it was yesterday!
Mike: (laughs)
Me: So you should go to the store.
Mike: OK.