We just saw a commercial for the news (which is coming on in about 5 minutes), promising an upcoming story about a dozen or so middle schoolers who were expelled for holding Fight Club in the bathrooms. It also promised an exclusive on why parents are angry about how the school handled it....
to which I replied with a nasty "oh I'm sure they are too - schools just can't win. we're always evil and wrong - how about holding the stupid kids accountable for their poor choices?"
and Mike says: "I know! Everyone knows the first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club! duh!"
***
two minutes later:
Me: Mike, I think you have set a record.
Mike: for what?
Me: For how many Mike Stories you can cause me to post in a single day. So far you're up to 3.
Mike: You're funny, Chrissy!
Me: No, you're funny, and you're on a roll tonight!
Monday, February 28, 2011
The Mike Stories, Pt. 25
Mike is really on a roll today!
He is currently in the front room attempting to re-cover this old chair of mine. it's a chair that I "stole" ages ago from a shared house where I lived back in my college days. it had been there since before I moved in... and one by one all of the roommates who pre-dated me moved out, yet the chair was still there. I always liked the chair, and since it had become owner-less, it didn't seem like it would be much of a bother to anyone if I took it with me. (no one ever complained).
Mike has never re-covered a chair before, so this is a giant experiment. the chair is probably at least as old as I am, and had a pretty war torn look to it, so when Mike suggested giving this a try, I didn't imagine that the poor thing could look much worse. I was just reminding him, though, that if my chair looks like a trash heap when he's done, we're getting it professionally re-covered. Mike then told me that there was some structural damage to the chair, and told me it would make more sense to just buy a new chair if it came to that. Nothing dangerous - just nothing worth paying to have professionally re-covered. I must have looked disappointed, because he then assured me that he would do his best to make it look nice in the end.
I told him I would really appreciate it if the chair turned out nice, since I've always liked the chair. it's a comfortable one for curling up and reading a book. My giant bookshelf is right next to it in the front room, and we're planning to get another bookshelf for that area soon - so I told him that if he pulls it off, it'll be like our own little library in there. I told him that I've always wanted my own library, but that I always imagined a spiral staircase leading up to it... to which he replied "me too!!!!"
He then proceeded to tell me how we should alter our front room/dining room space to accommodate a home library that could potentially include a spiral staircase. The actual conversation at this point involved a LOT of pointing, and I will do my best to describe this very visually based conversation legibly. Ready?:
Our front door opens into a small living-room like front room with vaulted ceilings. That space opens directly into the dining room. There is a catwalk-like horizontal beam dividing the two spaces. It's placed at about the right height for an average ceiling. (the cats love to hang out on it).
Mike proposed converting the beam into a ceiling/floor space above the dining room, thus creating an extra room above the dining room. The vaulted ceiling in that area slopes, so that it is about 3 ft higher than the beam at the lowest point, and perhaps 7 or 8 ft higher than the beam at the highest point (keep in mind here that I have dyscalculia, and my estimations here are based solely on my conversation with Mike, and the estimates that he stated - which in all probability are wrong)
I started laughing hysterically at this idea, and asked him what's he going to do? crawl around in his new library up there? He said no, he can stand up at the taller side - so I asked him what's he going to do with the short side? put in bean bag chairs? (he liked that idea very much). Then I proposed converting it into our kid's bedroom so we don't have to give up one of the other rooms when we have a kid. (this was followed by a funny conversation about how we could send the kid to their bedroom when they misbehave at the dinner table, directly below their room.
The light in the dining room, of course, hangs down from the vaulted ceiling. I asked him what's he going to do, put a hole in the floor of his new room to accommodate the light? then you could also look down and stare at unsuspecting guests during dinner.
In the end I pointed out that any future potential buyers probably wouldn't love the strange loft room... but considering that I don't ever want to move, I invited him to do whatever he wants!
He is currently in the front room attempting to re-cover this old chair of mine. it's a chair that I "stole" ages ago from a shared house where I lived back in my college days. it had been there since before I moved in... and one by one all of the roommates who pre-dated me moved out, yet the chair was still there. I always liked the chair, and since it had become owner-less, it didn't seem like it would be much of a bother to anyone if I took it with me. (no one ever complained).
Mike has never re-covered a chair before, so this is a giant experiment. the chair is probably at least as old as I am, and had a pretty war torn look to it, so when Mike suggested giving this a try, I didn't imagine that the poor thing could look much worse. I was just reminding him, though, that if my chair looks like a trash heap when he's done, we're getting it professionally re-covered. Mike then told me that there was some structural damage to the chair, and told me it would make more sense to just buy a new chair if it came to that. Nothing dangerous - just nothing worth paying to have professionally re-covered. I must have looked disappointed, because he then assured me that he would do his best to make it look nice in the end.
I told him I would really appreciate it if the chair turned out nice, since I've always liked the chair. it's a comfortable one for curling up and reading a book. My giant bookshelf is right next to it in the front room, and we're planning to get another bookshelf for that area soon - so I told him that if he pulls it off, it'll be like our own little library in there. I told him that I've always wanted my own library, but that I always imagined a spiral staircase leading up to it... to which he replied "me too!!!!"
He then proceeded to tell me how we should alter our front room/dining room space to accommodate a home library that could potentially include a spiral staircase. The actual conversation at this point involved a LOT of pointing, and I will do my best to describe this very visually based conversation legibly. Ready?:
Our front door opens into a small living-room like front room with vaulted ceilings. That space opens directly into the dining room. There is a catwalk-like horizontal beam dividing the two spaces. It's placed at about the right height for an average ceiling. (the cats love to hang out on it).
Mike proposed converting the beam into a ceiling/floor space above the dining room, thus creating an extra room above the dining room. The vaulted ceiling in that area slopes, so that it is about 3 ft higher than the beam at the lowest point, and perhaps 7 or 8 ft higher than the beam at the highest point (keep in mind here that I have dyscalculia, and my estimations here are based solely on my conversation with Mike, and the estimates that he stated - which in all probability are wrong)
I started laughing hysterically at this idea, and asked him what's he going to do? crawl around in his new library up there? He said no, he can stand up at the taller side - so I asked him what's he going to do with the short side? put in bean bag chairs? (he liked that idea very much). Then I proposed converting it into our kid's bedroom so we don't have to give up one of the other rooms when we have a kid. (this was followed by a funny conversation about how we could send the kid to their bedroom when they misbehave at the dinner table, directly below their room.
The light in the dining room, of course, hangs down from the vaulted ceiling. I asked him what's he going to do, put a hole in the floor of his new room to accommodate the light? then you could also look down and stare at unsuspecting guests during dinner.
In the end I pointed out that any future potential buyers probably wouldn't love the strange loft room... but considering that I don't ever want to move, I invited him to do whatever he wants!
The Mike Stories, Pt. 24
Me: I'm hungry. What should we have for dinner? I have another frozen pizza in there...
Mike: eh. (accompanied by a disappointed look)
Me: You don't seem happy about that?
Mike: I'm trying to eat healthy, remember?
Me: Great! You're turn then - what's for dinner??
Mike: hmph! FROZEN PIZZA!
Me: (laughing) That's going in the Mike Stories!
Mike: (also laughing) You're funny!
Me: No - YOU'RE funny!!
(after several minutes)
Mike: so, I bought a shower curtain liner for the upstairs bathroom... because it's been like 2 years (he means the guest room bathroom that we rarely use)
Me: cool
Mike: so we can get an outer one in any color
Me: get like a fabric one you mean?
Mike: yeah, so I was thinking if it's just an outer one and it's fabric, that wouldn't be that hard because it's basically like a sheet...
Me: you mean make it? because I'm not sewing anything.
Mike: oh. yeah, well we can buy it too....
Me: does this need to go in the Mike Stories too?
Mike: (gives me a look like he's trying to fight the urge to say yes) ;)
**the above conversation is an excellent example of how Mike starts explaining things from somewhere in the middle, and I get to try to read his mind.
Mike: eh. (accompanied by a disappointed look)
Me: You don't seem happy about that?
Mike: I'm trying to eat healthy, remember?
Me: Great! You're turn then - what's for dinner??
Mike: hmph! FROZEN PIZZA!
Me: (laughing) That's going in the Mike Stories!
Mike: (also laughing) You're funny!
Me: No - YOU'RE funny!!
(after several minutes)
Mike: so, I bought a shower curtain liner for the upstairs bathroom... because it's been like 2 years (he means the guest room bathroom that we rarely use)
Me: cool
Mike: so we can get an outer one in any color
Me: get like a fabric one you mean?
Mike: yeah, so I was thinking if it's just an outer one and it's fabric, that wouldn't be that hard because it's basically like a sheet...
Me: you mean make it? because I'm not sewing anything.
Mike: oh. yeah, well we can buy it too....
Me: does this need to go in the Mike Stories too?
Mike: (gives me a look like he's trying to fight the urge to say yes) ;)
**the above conversation is an excellent example of how Mike starts explaining things from somewhere in the middle, and I get to try to read his mind.
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