Sunday, July 5, 2015

The Mike Stories, Pt 64

So Mike found shampoo today that says it will gradually lighten his hair. Naturally he had to buy it. And today the experiment begins!

Sunday, May 24, 2015

The Mike Stories, Pt. 63

Last night Mike got the brilliant idea to clean the oven. We've only done it once or twice before, and so when he couldn't get it the cleaning function to turn on, we weren't sure if it was broken or if we were doing it wrong. We never really figured that out...

And then fast forward to tonight. Around 5pm we decided to make a frozen pizza for dinner. Mike pre-heated the oven, and then went to put the pizza in the oven. Except it turns out that he forgot to slide the oven lock back to the unlocked position. And while the cleaning function may be broken, the oven still knows to remain locked until the oven is completely cooled off. And so Mike successfully locked us out of the oven. And so at 7pm the now un-frozen pizza still sits on the counter, waiting to be baked.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The Mike Stories, Pt. 62

I'm 22 weeks pregnant, and Mike is really testing my patience this week!

We get a weekly bag of organic fruits & vegetables from Full Circle, and every Monday I try to remember to put their re-usable shopping bag outside so they can pick it up when the drop off our order early on Tuesday morning. Well last night when I went to put the bag outside, I discovered that Mike had left his keys in the front door. (I asked him if he was trying to invite burglars and rapists in while I sleep).

Earlier today, while getting ready for my prenatal water aerobics class, I discovered that Mike hid my flip flops, most likely when he "cleaned up" in the living room before steam cleaning the carpet a couple days ago. It's particularly annoying, since at 22 weeks pregnant, bending over to put on regular shoes is kind of a workout. He is still refusing to tell me where he put the flip flops.

When I got home from my prenatal water aerobics class tonight, I discovered that Mike had thrown away a bottle of paint thinner, and was in the process of trying to hide half of the paint for baby Zephyr's dresser in the laundry room - most likely on its way to be lost forever in the abyss of a "man cave" that the garage has become.

And now I'm certain that he's trying to kill me with sensory overload. When you're pregnant, you can smell everything, and it all smells a lot stronger than it usually does. Mike likes to use Simple Green cleaner, which he swears does a great job of cleaning. I've been complaining about how much it stinks since he first discovered it, and have been begging him to find something that stinks less. I don't know what he was actually doing with it in the kitchen tonight, but to me it smelled like he must have poured the entire bottle on the floor. Breathing in that madness felt like he was pouring mint scented bleach into my lungs. Mint by itself would be bad enough, as I can't stand mint. I had to open the windows, turn on fans, and go stand outside for about 10 minutes just to breathe! (which wasn't exactly fun in late October when it's freezing and raining outside!)

Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Mike Stories, Pt. 61

Mike just walked in the door (2 hours earlier than he usually gets home) and announces:

Mike: King 5 News called, I might be on tv. [leaves the room]
Me: When?
Mike: uh huh. (mumbling from somewhere upstairs)
Me: That is not a date or a time?
Mike: what? (shouting from upstairs)
Me: um, ok - do you want to expand on that?
Mike: King 5, you know, the news tv show.
Me: uh yeah, I know what the news is. Why did they call you? Because they think you're cool?

(it turns out they called about a charity event that he's organizing this weekend).

Saturday, July 5, 2014

The Mike Stories, Pt. 60

Me: What are you doing?
Mike: LMFAO! (while playing with the Roku remote)..... except I can never remember how it's spelled.
Me: you realize you just spelled it.....?
Mike: Well it's hard!

Monday, May 19, 2014

The Mike Stories, Pt. 59

I haven't seen the Roku remote in days. It isn't a big deal because I have the handy Roku app on my phone, which does everything the remote does. But I asked Mike about the remote earlier, and he accused me of losing it. (I rolled my eyes and went back to hoping it would turn up in the medicine cabinet)

....and then Mike got up to do something. As soon as he sat back down on the couch, the show he was watching paused. He looked at his phone to see if he had bumped it while the Roku app was on. Nope. Then the light went off - he got that look of exciting discovery, and started digging in the couch cushions. Sure enough - he was sitting on the missing Roku remote the whole time.

The Mike Stories, Pt. 58

On Wednesday of last week Mike's car mysteriously stopped working. It just wouldn't turn on when he tried to start it. The radio and lights worked just fine, so it wasn't a dead battery. We have a roadside assistance program, so we were able to get it towed to a mechanic on Friday without too much fuss.

The mechanic Mike chose had great ratings on Yelp, but (probably due to those great ratings) that particular mechanic was quite busy. They said they probably wouldn't be able to take a look at his car until Monday. Well Monday is here, and when I got home from work today Mike said he hadn't heard from the mechanic yet. He went ahead and gave them a call. He happened to have the phone on speaker, so I could hear the conversation. The polite gentleman on the other end of the phone told Mike several times that they most definitely did not have a Hyundai Accent waiting for service.

After giving me a horrified look that practically screamed "that bastard tow truck driver stole my car!" - Mike finally asked the guy on the phone if they were "Import Auto Repair" and gave the location for the place he thought he was calling. Turns out he had called the wrong mechanic.

[after he hung up, he called the correct mechanic and verified that they did in fact have his car. They're still trying to diagnose the problem].